I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. - Johnny Carson
Sirscrapalot - When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman
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I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself. - Johnny Carson
Sirscrapalot - When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman
“WHILE YOU WERE DOWN UNDER THE TABLE SEARCHING FOR TABLE SCRAPS THE FEAST WAS ON THE TABLE.”
Tracy Brown
The finest workers in stone are not copper or steel tools, but the gentle touches of air and water working at their leisure with a liberal allowance of time.
Henry David Thoreau
To be old and wise you must first be young and stupid
Been awhile...do forgive me. An yes, I enjoyed my vacation an no, there is no beer left on my sandbar. ;)
On to the quotes..!
Today's quotes are from Maya Angelou, an recently passed away.
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.
While I know myself as a creation of God, I am also obligated to realize and remember that everyone else and everything else are also God's creation.
Nothing will work unless you do.
Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope.
Perhaps travel cannot prevent bigotry, but by demonstrating that all peoples cry, laugh, eat, worry, and die, it can introduce the idea that if we try and understand each other, we may even become friends.
You can't forgive without loving. And I don't mean sentimentality. I don't mean mush. I mean having enough courage to stand up and say, 'I forgive. I'm finished with it.'
Try to be a rainbow in someone's cloud.
Any book that helps a child to form a habit of reading, to make reading one of his deep and continuing needs, is good for him.
Maya Angelou, 1928 - 2014 Poet, activist, author, an more.
Sirscrapalot - I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. - Maya Angelou
Trust yourself. Create the kind of self that you will be happy to live with all your life. Make the most of yourself by fanning the tiny, inner sparks of possibility into flames of achievement.
Golda Meir
Sirscrapalot - Off for a taco.
Hey, SS! Your PM mailbox is full!
In any event, the forum isn't the same when you are away!
It is? Well hell..I should empty it! I can't take the chance an miss a PM from the awesome whiskey drinking Spin!
Sirscrapalot - Thanks for the heads up Spin a rooni!
Emptied now, feel free to send in all your love, hate, and adult beverages again.
Sirscrapalot - Spin for Vice President!
Been used before, an till it happens I'll keep using it.
Jus' saying.. ;)
Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one. I hope someday you'll join us, and the world will be as one. - John Lennon
Sirscrapalot - Give peace a chance...seriously.
"NH Was The First"
After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York Scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.
Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: "California archaeologists, finding of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers"
One week later. A local newspaper in New Hampshire reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Milton, New Hampshire, Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, New Hampshire had already gone wireless".
Just makes a person proud to live in New Hampshire, don't it?
:))
Make it a habit to tell people thank you. To express your appreciation, sincerely and without the expectation of anything in return. Truly appreciate those around you, and you'll soon find many others around you. Truly appreciate life, and you'll find that you have more of it. - Ralph Marston
Sirscrapalot - Lazy people tend not to take chances, but express themselves by tearing down other's work. - Ann Rule
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. -Plato
**** it's hot. - Me, this week, while having electrical work done at the house.
Sirscrapalot - **** it's cold! - Me, this week, jumping into ocean.
I guess I should put a real quote..
Do not wait to strike till the iron is hot; but make it hot by striking. - William Butler Yeats
Sirscrapalot - I'm a man with a duck an I'm not afraid to use it! - No idea.
Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature. - Marilyn Monroe
Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework. - Bill Cosby
I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. - Joan Rivers
Sirscrapalot - Enjoy your weekend!
I like to read some of you know this...so..today I've pulled quotes from some poets I can dig. I know..me an poetry..mind boggling.
Enjoy.
Do not go gently into that good night but rage, rage against the dying of the light. - Dylan Thomas
When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes. - Dylan Thomas
Whatever talents I possess may suddenly diminish or suddenly increase. I can with ease become an ordinary fool. I may be one now. But it doesn't do to upset one's own vanity. - Dylan Thomas
Sirscrapalot - A cynical young person is almost the saddest sight to see, because it means that he or she has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing. - Maya Angelou, 1928 - 2014.
Ha ha! I left out some...an its my thread so I'll double post away! :p
Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. - T.S. Eliot
If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are? - T.S. Eliot
I have discovered in life that there are ways of getting almost anywhere you want to go, if you really want to go. - Langston Hughes
Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. - Langston Hughes
I believe that if you don't want to do anything, then sit there and don't do it, but don't expect people to hand you a corn beef sandwich and wash your socks for you and unzip your fly for you. - Shel Silverstein
Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect - But tell me the truth. - Shel Siverstein
It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. - E.E. Cummings
A politician is an arse upon which everyone has sat except a man. - E.E. Cummings
Sirscrapalot - The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. - E.E. Cummings
An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:
A fight is going on inside me, he said to the boy. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too.
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,Which wolf will win?
The old Cherokee simply replied, The one you feed.
We do not inherit the land from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.
I liked this quote so I stole it from MetalAbestos.. ;)
He doesn't know it yet, but now he'll be famous cause he made my quote thread. Muahahaha!
“A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.” --Charles H. Spurgeon.
Full article at Scrap Metal Forum: http://www.scrapmetalforum.com/day-l...#ixzz34CItZzj0
Originally posted by MetalAbestos at the thread above. Thanks for the contribution!
Sirscrapalot - Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. - George Bernard Shaw
I've got no dark secrets, I wasn't beaten up, my parents were kind to me and there was a low crime rate where we lived. Maybe that's where the comedy comes from, as some sort of reaction to the safe, boring suburbs. - Will Ferrell
James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was. - Will Ferrell
Members of the Senate and House, if they want to send troops into war, should be forced to send a family member. That would really make everyone stop and go, 'Ohhh-kaaay.' - Will Ferrell
Aren't we all striving to be overpaid for what we do? - Will Ferrell
Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - Gracie Allen
This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances. - Gracie Allen
When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. - Gracie Allen
I love food: biscuits and gravy, cheese grits, spaghetti and meatballs, chicken-fried steak with white gravy... but my favorite dish is my wife's beanie weenie cornbread casserole. It's so good. It sounds stupid, but if you eat it, it's heaven. Of course, it's only something you can eat if you've got a lot of money. - Larry the Cable Guy
What a piece of garbage this smart car is. There's a commercial - the smart car has zero percent interest for six years. Well, good, I got zero percent in six years in buying this smart car. I'll tell you that much. I mean, it's ridiculous. My buddy has a smart car, totaled it. He hit a deer tick. - Larry the Cable Guy
Sirscrapalot - Our whole wedding cost 180 bucks. Afterward, we re-heated lasagna for everyone and set off fireworks. - Larry the Cable Guy
Double Quote day!
I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. - Larry the Cable Guy
One of my little girls is named Reagan. Her first words were, 'Mr. Larry, tear down this crib.' That was her first words, it was very sweet. My first words were, 'Are you going to finish that sandwich?' - Larry the Cable Guy
When Pixar calls and says, 'Hey, you wanna be in a Pixar movie?' you don't do a lot of contemplating! - Larry the Cable Guy aka Tow Mater, from Cars..did I really have to point this out?!
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - Fred Allen
The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen
A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done. - Fred Allen
Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. - Fred Allen
Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen
California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. - Fred Allen
As always..a good weekend to all!
Sirscrapalot - I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement. - Fred Allen
I found this one...KZ, NH...you should get a laugh. Rest of you folks..I hope you do to, an if not...I'm laughing for all of you.
Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
- Fred Allen
Sirscrapalot - Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. - Fred Allen
Sir, whenever I am down and out I come to your thread to laugh.
Thank you.
Your welcome my friend. Thank you for letting me know it does some good now an then. ;)Quote:
Originally Posted by Patriot76
I think that's my favorite quote so far.
Sirscrapalot - That crossover of whether it's entertainment or news is the biggest crock of b.s. in television today, because it's all entertainment. - Vince McMahon
As promised the Father's day Quotes! Funny, sappy, we got it all.
Read. Enjoy. Then go pop a beverage fire up the grill, have the kids fetch you more beverages and enjoy your day!
Dad, wherever you are, you are gone but you will never be forgotten. - Conrad Hall ( for my wife, as her father passed away )
Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that's why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. You taught me the game and you taught me how to play it right. - Wade Boggs
It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton
It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare
I decided in my life that I would do nothing that did not reflect positively on my father's life. - Sidney Poitier
When it comes to Father's Day, I will remember my dad for both being there to nurture me and also for the times he gave me on my own to cultivate my own interests and to nurture my own spirit. - Jennifer Grant
To be as good as our fathers we must be better, imitation is not discipleship. - Wendell Phillips
I would say my greatest achievement in life right now - my greatest achievement period is - and I'm still trying to achieve it - is to be a wonderful father to my kids. - Bo Jackson
I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father's equal, and I never loved any other man as much. - Hedy Lamarr
A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be. - Frank A. Clark
It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXlll
My father was my teacher. But most importantly he was a great dad. - Beau Bridges
When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb. After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to find out how much he'd learned in three years. - Frank Butler
When I was a kid, I used to imagine animals running under my bed. I told my dad, and he solved the problem quickly. He cut the legs off the bed. - Lou Brock
A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold
Pt 2..next up.
Sirscrapalot - On a roll.
It is much easier to become a father than to be one. - Kent Nerburn
Watching your husband become a father is really sexy and wonderful. - Cindy Crawford
I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out. - Jay London
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. - Fred Allen
Being a father to my family and a husband is to me much more important than what I did in the business. - Tom Bosley
"Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up." - Ray Romano
There should be a children’s song 'If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep. - Jim Gaffigan
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family. - Jeff Foxworthy
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. - Jack Handey
The only Father's Day tradition in my family is the annual conversation he and I have where I say, 'Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father's Day this year?' and he says, 'Nothing.' Then I ask my mom what I should get him and she says, 'He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewelry and Chanel No 5 perfume. - Michael Showalter
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield
My dad used to say 'Always fight fire with fire,' which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade. - Harry Hill
On the perfect Father's Day. There would be just Dad, wearing his oldest surviving undershorts, free of pressure, maybe just sitting in front of the TV, watching the NBA finals. There would be no conversation, other than Dad periodically observing that these players today could carry the ball across Montana and never get called for traveling. … Of course, that's not all. You'd also make a restaurant reservation, and at the end of the day, you'd dress up and go out and have a nice dinner, during which you'd propose a toast to Dad. Who would be back home, in front of the TV, happily asleep in his veteran underwear. - Dave Barry
Pt 3!
Last..one..I swear. So many to choose from...
On with the show!
My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ! - Bill Cosby
My father only hit me once - but he used a Volvo. - Bob Monkhouse
Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad. - Anne Geddes
My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." - Harmon Killebrew
My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic - Spike Mulligan
The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. - Tim Russert
Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did. - Unknown
My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland
A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. - Billy Graham
Sirscrapalot - Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.- Ruth E. Renkel
I coulda made a new thread, but why bother...
I give to you...Dancing animals to the 80's song..Push it!
May it make you laugh an look silly if anyone is around you at the time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUgKyX98n2I
Sirscrapalot - Push it..push it...- Salt n' Peppa
An now we know why dogs an cats can't make peace...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MnfufHV4n08
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hh8il-36cuI
Sirscrapalot - Get over here! - Scorpion, or the cat in this video
I'm going to share a few of my fathers famous quotes in appreciation of making the sirscrapalot world famous quote thread.
The first three quotes are from when my dad when he took me to baseball games when I was younger .
" look if I want a mounds bar do you think I have to call your mother for permission ?"- mom getting on him about finding a mounds wrapper stuffed inside the sofa.
" I know you want to pitch , everyone does . You have the arm for it but I need you to play third because your not afraid to stop the ball "
"Stop swinging at the high stuff , make them earn there pitch"
"If I set up a tire in the back yard and charged you money to throw footballs at it , you would think I was crazy"- some circus we were at somewhere
"Always quit the day before you get hurt, you only get one body and that's going with you from job to job"
" work smart not hard , you have moved that three times , where you goin with that ?- moving cement when we did a neighbors driveway a decade ago.
" don't ever say you can't , you can do anything if you stop and think about it"- can't remember the exact reference . Had to do with bidding something. Side job of some sort.
"I wouldn't start that truck to do a job for less than $500and that's not including help ,gas , wear,tear,insurance,food,tools ya see these things add up and extra materials and hidden expenses are going to eat you alive. You need to be thinking of this stuff before you even drive to look at a job , you get hurt and your s.o.l. My boy"
"I swear . I hope I eat something besides spaggetti and chicken some time in the next 20 years" - heard this every time we had chicken or spaggetti for dinner for over 3 decades. Still hear it about once a year.
That post hit close to home because I'm going to be a dad in about a month and this Father's Day I got to talk with my father for a few hours on Father's Day . It was nice to spend time with him . All,I can say is..
" I hope I can be as great a father , as my father was to me . He has taught me more than words can say and he is by far my best friend . The best thing I think he has taught me was just shut up and listen "
Nice quotes there Metal!
I like the circus one..lol.
I thank you for the contribution!
Edit: Hit post to quick..also my congrats on the future bundle of joy ya got coming!
Sirscrapalot - Metal's pug is awesome sauce
Persistence is to the character of man as carbon is to steel.
Napoleon Hill
There are three things extremely hard: steel, a diamond, and to know one's self.
Benjamin Franklin
We are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
Alfred E. Newman
Now that is just too frick'n funny.Quote:
Originally Posted by hobo finds
To the European, a Yankee is an American.
To an American, a Yankee is a New Englander.
To a New Englander, a Yankee is a Vermonter.
To a Vermonter, a Yankee is someone who eats apple pie for breakfast.
And to a Vermonter who eats apple pie for breakfast
a Yankee is someone who eats it with a knife.
~An old Yankee joke
Today's quotes come from Martin Luther King Jr.
Enjoy.
The ultimate tragedy is not the oppression and cruelty by the bad people but the silence over that by the good people.
Law and order exist for the purpose of establishing justice and when they fail in this purpose they become the dangerously structured dams that block the flow of social progress.
Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere.
We must learn to live together as brothers or perish together as fools.
Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.
The time is always right to do what is right.
Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.
Sirscrapalot - Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.
There is no end to education. It is not that you read a book, pass an examination, and finish with education. The whole of life, from the moment you are born to the moment you die, is a process of learning. - Jiddu Krishnamurti
In youth we learn; in age we understand.- Marie Von Ebner - Eschenbach
I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship. - Louis May Alcott
He who learns but does not think, is lost! He who thinks but does not learn is in great danger. - Confucius
Sirscrapalot - A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer. - Bruce Lee