Final Update. I followed IdahoScrapper's advice and posted my complaint on Facebook. The admins there asked me to email some fellow named Jack, who contacted the regional manager, who asked the store manager to call me. As of today I have their permission to bring the vise back for an exchange. The manager said that they were discussing store policy and came to the conclusion they need to be more lenient on exchanges at Christmas. Happy that it was resolved but it never should have been this difficult to start.
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