“To alcohol! The cause of – and solution – to all of life’s problems.” –Homer Simpson
“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” –Humphrey Bogart
“Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.” –Al Bundy, Married with Children
“Bring a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out and then bring one every 10 minutes . . .” –Thornton Mellon, Back to School
“Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son.” –Dean Vernon Wormer, Animal House
“My advice to you is to start drinking heavily.” –Bluto, Animal House
–Homer: “No TV and no beer make Homer something something.”
–Marge: “Go crazy?’
–Homer: “Don’t mind if I do!”
“I’ll stick with gin. Champagne is just ginger ale that knows somebody.” –Hawkeye from M*A*S*H
“Never cry over spilt milk. It could’ve been whiskey.” –Pappy from Maverick
“If you drink, don’t drive. Don’t even putt. ” –Dean Martin
“I don’t care how liberated this world becomes, a man will always be judged by the amount of alcohol he can consume, and a woman will be impressed, whether she likes it or not. ” –Doug Coughlin from Cocktail
“The luck is gone, the brain is shot, but the liquor we still got. ” –Doug Coughlin from Cocktail
“Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer. ” –Arnold Schwarzenegger
“God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world. ” –Ed McMahon
“I like my whiskey old and my women young. ” –Errol Flynn
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