have you talked with your dad about even half the things you put in your post here ? He's the best one to talk to about any of it. He's been successful in his own way, and he knows you better than anyone here, possibly better than anyone anywhere. I'm sure he also cares a great deal about you and has every hope for your success, and your happiness, and will take great pleasure in discussing all this and more with his son, heart to heart and man to man . Best of luck with whatever route you take
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