They don't call it rock bottom for nothing...that sh!t hurts and now it's time to claw your way back to the beach. You know where you are and are reaching out so that tells me you have not given up on yourself as much as you think right now.
The simple things in life can bring the most pleasure, but then again I'm can be entertained by watching cars drive by...suck it all in.
Sure a lot of tools can help but the caveman approach can make things happen too...hang in there.
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