I don't think anyone pays for shipping but at least one or more have a discounted rate on shipping.
As far as refining goes, if he just watched youtube videos then you might be going to his funeral.
#1 - It's very dangerous if not done correctly (including proper ventilation) and #2- The pro's will tell you that someone just starting out will lose almost 50% of their gold cause they don't have their technique figured out yet.
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