Is your name on the naughty list for Santa? How gracefully did you put it there?
Since Christmas is almost here, I thought I should spill the beans on what has gotten me on the naughty list.
A few years ago a college buddy of mine tied the knot with his girlfriend of six years. I got invited along with my girlfriend(now my wife) to the wedding in Washington, D.C. My buddy's girlfriend's father made really good money and they threw an expensive party. The wedding went great and everyone went to the banquet hall for typical meal, dancing and drinking ritual that happens. Cheapest stuff being poured at the bar was Absolut and they poured super heavy. My girlfriend was drinking vodka and cranberry. The cranberry was just splashed in for color, crazy right! My other college buddies parents were also there and I was running drinks from the bar to our table a lot.
So, I had two beers in my hands and asked some lady to move out of the way. As I passed she instead turned into me and the beer went everywhere. All over my suit, shoes and new tie. All I heard was, "you big idiot, watch were you are going"! I turned on the charm and said "I am so sorry about that. Can I get you a towel?" She said something about beer ruining her Armani dress, new and I'm an idiot. oh well. I went to bathroom to clean up. I was so angry, new tie ruined and shoe shine ruined.
The best man walked in with four other guys who had just heard what I did. I was like no big deal, just some old dumb lady. Best man said that was your buddy's mother-in-law and her brand new Armani dress. OH! My fault! Best man said she has been a total b*!)^%@ the entire time of the dress rehearsal and wedding. He even gave me a high five. Groom then walked in, didn't say anything and gave me a high five. He was sent in by new bride and wanted to know what I was going to do to fix the problem. Best man suggested an apologize dance. He said spin her around a couple times and then aim for a table, spin her and let go. Groom agreed with me that was a grand idea. I approached the mother-in-law with a towel and charm turned on super high. "Excuse me madam, but I am truly sorry that I rudely bumped into you. I hope this towel will help with soak up anything that is left on that exquiste dress of yours." She turned and sneered at me. Then thanked me for apologizing. I said, "well how about an apology dance". Yep thats right boys, I went down the road of no return. She accepted and we stepped out on to the dance floor with a live brass band. They played some rocking 40's swing dance music and started to spin her around. All buddies were standing there by the dance floor smirking. I picked a table and spun her around like four times and let go…
I figured I would blame the accident on the alcohol or she slipped out of my hands, but the **** broad held on for dear life!!! I spun her a couple more times trying to let go and she wouldn't let go. By the end of the song she kissed me on cheek and said she hasn't danced like that since her teens. I failed. Couldn't believe it! Then the worse thing happened. My girlfriend, completely hammered, comes over and says in a very drunken way "Spin me around". Ah……..
Sorry for the long version, but I always love to tell a good story. Please Santa, forgive me. I just want a coppermine powered wire stripper for Christmas!!!
