People asking for money

I'm interested in getting peoples' opinion on something that left a lasting impression on me. The other day I was about to go grocery shopping when I saw a dumpster by the bank that was being remodeled and then I saw a guy with his wife and 2 kids in a shopping cart with a sign that said: "I just lost my job, I have 2 kids, please help". I have often said that if a person is disabled, or sick or somehow unable to work I could understand helping them out. Being that he just lost his job, so the sign says, he was able to work. I went about my business and asked permission to jump in the dumpster to pull out just a few dollars worth of steel, threw it in my car and went to buy food. I also contemplated inviting the guy in and was going to buy his groceries. But a couple things prevented me from doing so. 1st: about 12 years ago I was also almost homeless and despite the fact that I come from a fairly successful family I got back on my feet with no financial assistance from anyone. 2nd: I am from the belief that as long as the scrapmetal business exists there is no reason why any able bodied person should ever not be able to get back on their feet. 3rd: a friend of mine posted a video on facebook of a person who despite missing one leg, was able to use a crutch as his 2nd leg thus enabling him to shovel wet cement into a bucket, carry it to where his co-worker was laying the cement out, then carry the empty bucket with his crutch and shovel some more. Lastly, I told this story to one of my co-workers who told me about a time she bought breakfast for a guy at a Mcdonalds who then tried to return the meal to get the cash back so he could go buy a cheap bottle of booze. So the short question is: keeping these things in mind, do you help people or not?

if u KNOW 100% that the person is genuine & not an addict/alcoholic etc, then help him
after helping him, give him some advice about collecting scrap metal

the sad part is most genuine poor people, have some sense of pride & dont like to advertise their poverty
so u might be knowing the person but still not know their financial situation.


and the addicts/alcoholics- they have no shame, they get out there & try every trick in the book to get our sympathy
so most of those advertising their poverty- most are not genuine & not deserving of anything other than a kick up the arse.

thats my opinion- maybe u guys see things differently

If I had the money I would have gave him something-not up to me to judge,that will be done later.

I sometimes feel bad, but I see so many people asking. When I go out with my fiance to get food, I might be asked by 2-3 different people, or asked by the same person twice. Everyone has a sob story, everyone is a war veteran, everyone needs to catch a bus, everyone has kids or needs food. I don't know who to trust. If they catch me in a good mood with cash in my pocket, then I might, but most of the time I don't have cash, and most of the time I don't help.

I don't know. In the past I have and have not given to beggars. The problem with your scenario is that even a twenty or a hundred dollars would only change their situation for a day or two. They would need more help than I could provide.

Its better to be the one being asked for something, than the one asking for it. What comes around goes around i usually give to people that are in need but i do not give to young people that are physically fit and just don't work because they choose not to.

I try and give to people when I can. (have cash on me). what they do with the little I give is not up to me. I did my part.

Scammers have turned me off to donating money to panhandler because you never know. There are a few guys in town that panhandle for money and that's all they do. I watched one guy outside of a Walmart while waiting for a friend. Not sure how much he got but more than 10 people gave him money. After 20 minute I watched him walk over to his car and drive off. His pretty new clean Honda Accord. I see this guy all over town. His signs are worded in a matter that don't say he is homeless or that he needs money. I also personal know people who take advantage of churches and other charitable places during holiday times and brag about it. Also anyone can start a charity for any reason. Google it and see. I can start one and pay myself from the donation. As long as i am passing on some small amount of money, it still qualifies as a charity. My point being you never know where or how much of your dollar actually goes to help who they say they are helping. Unless I am 100% sure that my dollar or a large portion of it will help, I hold it for the next opportunity.

Just going to share an experience, not give any advice. Each situation is for everyone to decide for themselves. If you get a bad feeling about something, then follow your instincts. If not doing anything is going to make you think about it and possibly lose sleep that night, then consider that as well. That being said... here's my story:

I am from Western New York. I used to attend 10-15 Buffalo Sabres games every year until I moved to Arkansas. Me and a buddy used to go together to most of these games. They typically start at 7pm. Working until 5-5:30 every day, showing up just in time for the national anthem was the normal for us. There was always this guy near the main entrance, sitting in a wheelchair, juggling beanbags and had a big coffee can for people to leave him money. He appeared disabled, but in good spirits and always thanked everyone politely for their help, often times saying "God Bless". He had a sign neatly taped to his chair that read "Disabled veteran, any help is appreciated".

I always tossed whatever loose change I had in my pocket into his can and carried on to the entrance. He probably over the years made $50-$100 off of me. Which I felt ok with. Until 1 day, my buddy was running really late getting home from work. The normal parking lot that we used under the skyway was full. So we had to pony up and pay twice as much to park in the lot right across the street from the front of the arena. The first period of the game had started a few minutes before we got out of the car, we listened to it as we pulled into the lot. Walking across the street towards the main entrance I see the disabled guy, he was off to the side from where he normally was, sign was gone from his chair, and the thing that pissed me off was, he was not in his chair anymore. He was standing behind it, on his 2 feet perfectly fine. I stopped dead and watched, probably 40-50ft away from where he was. He finished folding his chair up and left it there as he walked to a van that was parked about 20-30 ft from him. He put his coffee can in the front seat, went back and got his wheel chair, carried it to the van, opened the back, tossed it in and then turned back to walk towards the front again. Not a limp in his step at all. No signs of this man being any more disabled than I was. This moment was bad for me. I felt like I had been robbed time and time again, with a smile and a "God Bless" right to my face. But this wasn't the worst part either. This man walked back over to the front entrance, and handed the security guards money, And said "Thanks guys, see you again Saturday". I am not sure how much, I wasn't close enough to see. Nor do I care. But this really pissed me off. enough to where I made sure that I went to the game on Saturday, which I didn't even plan to originally. But it turned into a priority in my life for that week. I was committed on outing this fraudulent SOB.

I didn't say a word that night. we went into the game, watched, left as usual. During the drive home I started ranting to my friend about how I was still pissed off about the dude in the wheelchair. He came up with a little plan to get the security guards busted for taking money from the guy. I don't know exactly what he did, but when we went to the game Saturday, everything was the same as usual. Guy in his wheelchair taking money from hundreds of people. we sat in the lot across the street again, this time just watching. Never got out of the car during any of it. The crowd had made it inside, game started. Watched this guy get up from his wheelchair again, walk around the corner, the one security guard walked over to watch over the mans stuff until he got back. Around the corner came the same van from the other night. So this was the guy again, and I was watching the entire routine unfold. He gets out, folds up the chair, picks up his can, puts it in the driver seat, chair in the back again, walks over to the security guards, hands them both money... and then BOOM... here come the cops from across the street. Handcuffed both security guards and the "disabled" guy. I was pretty satisfied right then. We got out of the car, went into the game, and went about our business as usual.

Oddly enough, the security guards both got fired, and I never heard anything else about what happened to them. Story was never in the paper or on the news as far as I know. But my buddy had followed up on his inside tip and found out that they had both been fired and charged with misdemeanor theft. More than likely got a slap on the wrist in court and had to find different jobs. The disabled guy was back in front of the arena in his wheelchair again the next game we went to a few weeks later. Same act, smiling, juggling bean bags, telling people that dropped money into his can "God Bless". We walked right by him and I said something along the lines of "hey faker, you need handcuffs again?" and his face dropped. But I kept walking by. Next game we went to the following week, he wasn't there. First time in probably 4 years I walked through those doors without walking by him first.

For all I know he will be out there for Buffalo's home opener in 2 weeks, but I wont know about it. I just know that someone that seemed so genuine, so in need of assistance, sitting in front of a door that thousands of people were walking through, in a wheelchair, proclaiming his disability and passing out "God Bless" with a smile... was completely... 100%... FULL OF $HIT.

end of rant.

Ok my story isnt as justifing as that one but when I went to visit my Fiance in California, we spent the day going to all the tourist sites that a farm boy from Kansas would want to see. But as I was gassing up and guy dressed to the 9's suit, tie, loafers, gets out of his caddillac 500 i think it was and ask me for money. Now, here is a guy dressed lik ethat with a well dressed wife sitting in the car asking me wearing tshirt and jeans for money. I was pissed, but I politely told him no and that the lady in car probably had some cash on hand. He said that was his car and walked away.

One for me was I was it had been about a year from when I was let go from work and I had my kids who were about 10 and 8 years old at the time, with me to go grocery shopping, guy comes by and asks for money I snap back at him that I am out of work as well so no. Then I hear my kids say if they find some money at the coinstar or on the ground they will give it to the guy... Well I gave them each a dollar when we left and they gave it to him...

There is a guy who lives in my woods by me. He says he is a a Vietnam veteran. He will flat out tell you he is an alcoholic who can't hold a job. He's never directly asked for money. One time I offered and he declined. He does odd jobs for people and sometimes he'll even tip me off about scrap.

Like Mech I've read multiple stories of people doing what Phred mentioned. There was a guy in Tucson I think it was a few years back who did something similar minus the wheelchair. He'd stand on the corner collecting money from sun up till sun down. Soon as the sun went away he walked over to his bmw got in an drove off.

Was a few people doing this Northern Va also according to family I still have there.

An..I don't give money. Tell me your hungry, an I'll buy you some Mc'ds or a hot dog, but I won't give you my cash so you can go get drunk, or high off meth or heroin or crack. Sorry if that makes me a jerk but if you want my help it'll be to help you not enable you to continue destroying your life. Go find some other sucker to get your drug/drunk money from.

Sirscrapalot - A total jerk.

I had someone ask me the same BC. I just laughed an walked on.

I enjoy a good drink, we all know this..but I sure as hell don't let it run my life to the point of asking total strangers to buy me a beer..especially at 11am when most people are at work.

Sirscrapalot - It's five o'clock somewhere, if your able to pay your own **** tab. - Me.

Originally Posted by BRASSCATCHER

One guy actually asked if I would mind getting him a beer.

That was me. I ask everyone to buy me a beer.

Originally Posted by Sirscrapalot

Like Mech I've read multiple stories of people doing what Phred mentioned. There was a guy in Tucson I think it was a few years back who did something similar minus the wheelchair. He'd stand on the corner collecting money from sun up till sun down. Soon as the sun went away he walked over to his bmw got in an drove off.

Was a few people doing this Northern Va also according to family I still have there.

An..I don't give money. Tell me your hungry, an I'll buy you some Mc'ds or a hot dog, but I won't give you my cash so you can go get drunk, or high off meth or heroin or crack. Sorry if that makes me a jerk but if you want my help it'll be to help you not enable you to continue destroying your life. Go find some other sucker to get your drug/drunk money from.

Sirscrapalot - A total jerk.

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